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4.9 ★★★★★
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★★★★★ 5
An Amazingly Wise Book
Format: Paperback
Trauma, in fact, intergenerational trauma that has not been metabolized, is a recipe for racism. As a psychotherapist with over 50 years addressing trauma and the need for decolonization therapies that go far beyond what is customarily taught in universities, My Grandmother's Hands is the clearest guide I have come across to help suffering individuals "grow up" as Resma Menakem respectfully says.
This is a profound, wise, brilliant, compassionate, and exceptionally insightful effort to confront our body's pain as well as that of our families, communities, and our American culture. When we grow as individuals we will also grow as communities -- what Martin Luther King Jr. referred to as "the beloved community."
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Reviewed in the United States on May 25, 2026
★★★★★ 5
A must read for therapists and everyone else
Format: Paperback
As a psychologist who works primarily with individuals in marginalized communities, I see a lot of clients who have experienced historical, intergenerational, developmental and ongoing current trauma, often as a result of systems of oppression (racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.). I was very excited to dive into training in somatic experiencing (SE), a "bottom up" approach to trauma treatment that recognizes the ways that traumatic experiences get stored in the body, and therefore need to be healed through the body.
However, I was disappointed to find that most of the books on SE, as well as the trainings themselves, rarely if ever mention racism or other systems of oppression and the trauma they cause. This was such a disappointment to me, especially given that racial trauma is so prevalent in the everyday lives of my clients and perpetuated daily by the current political climate.
Therefore I was thrilled to discover this book. Resmaa Menakem filled in the gap I was feeling in the SE literature, applying somatic experiencing to racial trauma and the ways that racism impacts the bodies of white people, black people (and all people of color), and those who are charged with "serving and protecting" us, the police. This book was a huge eye opener for me. Not only did it give me compassion for my own white body and the ways that trauma has been metabolized and passed on from white folks to POC through the mechanisms of white supremacy, but it gave me new and more embodied ways to understand the lives of people of color and work effectively with my POC clients. It also gave me new compassion for cops, who, through their own trauma responses and the effects of white supremacy, are now more like soldiers whose mission is to control and suppress black and brown bodies. Although I will continue to feel outrage and grief at every unnecessary police killing of an innocent man or woman of color, this book helped me to remember that we are all impacted by centuries of white supremacy conditioning and that cops need and deserve healing around racial trauma too.
I highly recommend this book to therapists and healers, especially those who work with individuals in marginalized communities. Each chapter provides exercises to embody the learning in the chapter, so that healing is happening not just from the top down, but from the bottom up. There are exercises for individuals and groups, for white bodies, POC bodies and police bodies. The book is extremely timely and relevant and should be required reading for anyone wanting to understand more about the history and current conditions of racism in America, its impacts, and how to heal.
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Reviewed in the United States on September 3, 2018
★★★★★ 5
Think of racism as a moral failing isn’t helpful. Instead, think of it as a trauma response.
Format: Kindle, Format: Kindle
If we are willing to stop and listen to the voices of these people, both in the streets and in their writings (for generations now), we will hear them tell us their experience. And their experience is horrific. Some of us will turn away, finding solace in justifications (“He should have complied!”) or distancing (“My family was poor too. None of my family owned slaves.”) But if we care about a sustainable future for our country, if we have the smallest shred of a sense of responsibility for our neighbor, or if (like me) we claim to follow Jesus, the one who taught us to love our neighbor as ourselves, and to put other people’s lives before our own, then we must listen.
In My Grandmother’s Hands, Resmaa Menakem comes to this conversation from a different and very helpful angle. He suggests that three groups are clashing in our country today: black-bodied people, white-bodied people and police. He suggests that the animus, reactivity, and often explosive violence between these groups is in fact the result of unprocessed trauma. He digs deep into the story of each of these groups to demonstrate the primary and secondary trauma each group carries. Then he talks about the process of trauma retention and how, if we fail to understand and process our trauma, we inevitably become less flexible, more reactive, and more violent. He suggests that the solution to our problem is not solely in education, awareness or even new policies, but in becoming more aware of our bodies, learning how to handle and process trauma, and becoming more resilient in our interactions with other traumatized people.
This is the first book about racial injustice that I’ve read where I finished feeling like I could actually make a difference. I’m not a policy maker. I’m not able to be a regular front-line activist. I don’t have piles of money to spend at Black-owned businesses. It’s easy to feel like my small contribution can’t possibly make a real difference. But Menakem suggests a path that any one of us can walk--coming to terms with our own experience of racialized trauma -- and this will open up the path for other ways we can be a part of creating a more just, compassionate, and equal society.
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Reviewed in the United States on July 23, 2020
★★★★★ 5
Enlightening, transformative, maybe even life-changing
Format: Paperback
I would have to say that this is an interactive book. As I was reading this with a group, reading one or two chapters at a time, it was possible to do all the exercises. I did not do them all, but must say it was an eye-opening experience. The basis premise of the book is that we carry trauma in our bodies, and that we respond to issues of race, first and foremost, in our bodies, as a visceral response. And, as so many of our experiences originate early in life, these responses are often immediate and unconscious, and thus, this book requires a great deal of interior work. It's worth every moment of it. I remember clearly, that before I had finished the introduction, I felt rage- actual rage. And for a person who considers herself balanced and rather low-key this was quite astounding. And this rage continued to surface. Let me just say that this book makes you explore unexamined parts of yourself, if you will let it. Expect to feel uncomfortable, and if you push through it, you may be different when you get to the other side...
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Reviewed in the United States on December 1, 2021
★★★★★ 4
Don't Forget Grandmother's Feet!
Format: Kindle
A very idealistic approach in dealing with the racial trauma that is very much alive in America. I like the way the author built the narrative based on his grandmother’s unspoken experiences in her life which was exemplified by the condition of her hands (and feet). The author made references to the trauma being in our bodies, which was different. The only issue I had with this book is where the author tried to equate the trauma that White folks experienced in Europe before coming to America with the plight of Black folk that is ongoing. How did White folks overcome their trauma? Prosperity! I believe that there is a correlation between our trauma as Black folk and reparations and why this country is so adamant about not giving us reparations…because it will help to offset our trauma, and they don’t want us healed. However, if they are inclined towards healing, then this book makes some practical suggestions (and exercises) to do so; for Whites, Blacks, and even the PO-lice.
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Reviewed in the United States on July 23, 2023
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